I noticed there are a lot of super hero movies out within the last couple of years – possibly a reflection of the Iran conflict. Most these films seem to highlight the male gender as the super hero. These heroes of course are strong and willing to defend us at any cost . However, very few super hero movies even suggest a female lead – and if they do their appearance seems just as important as their super powers, e.g., the movie Cat Woman. “It is often argued—and accepted—that women, being the “gentler sex”, and typically being the main care givers in society, are less aggressive than men. (http://www.globalissues.org/HumanRights/WomensRights.asp). This character was made from the Batman movie and series where she was an anti-hero and love interest of Batman. However, in 2006 a movie “My Super Ex-Girlfriend” was out and grossed $22,530,295 in the United States (Wikipedia.com). This movie was not your typical super hero story. At the beginning it’s a love story and Jenny confesses to her new love that she has super powers. He is not totally interested in her because she can be clumsy. Things get ugly when Jenny gets jealous and uses her super powers on her now X-boyfriend. She becomes very bitter and neurotic and stalks her X. My question is why can’t a female be seen in a legitimate super power role without appearing neurotic or clumsy and out of place or a beauty? “Even when the newspapers do cover powerful women such as Oprah Winfrey, the stories often focus more on women’s appearance and personal lives than on their success and power” (p.269, Wood). The media just won’t have a powerful woman just be powerful and not be filled with too many flaws or appearance concerns to be valid – not even a super hero. For instance I am reminded by Alex’s post several weeks ago that has to do with Hilary Clinton…Every moment Hillary was in front of the camera was magnified. What she wore and her hair style were just as important as what her issues were in the media. And the moment she showed a little emotion – which I think was forced on her by the media, she was deemed too sensitive and not a candidate for president. She could not win. “Women’s professional status can be erased by on-air comments that demean women’s professionalism and emphasize their sexuality” (p.268, Wood). I am not saying her issues were one’s I believe in or not, however, I feel that the media had a big part in pulling her credibility apart to invalidate her goal for the presidency. The bottom line is that the media reflects our history but also affects how we see and interpret things. Therefore media does have a responsibility to show women in more positive roles for the current media consumers; and so that as children grow and interpret gender they can also see the possibility of a woman president.

I go to a women’s only gym and I like it that way. However, I have not noticed any gyms just for males in my neighborhood and began to wonder if it was legal for them to exist. I know that there was once an all men’s business club in New York that was ordered to open its doors to women because women were being excluded from business deals. A 1989 NY Times Article stated: “An era has ended and a door has opened. The 10,000-member New York Athletic Club, which for 121 years has been a symbol of masculine exclusivity, has bowed to the forces of change and feminine scorn and agreed to accept women as members. When I searched on line I found a gym franchise called Cuts (Fox News on-line 3/06). It claims to be targeting males 16-64 who don’t feel in shape enough to want to exercise with women. It is similar to Curves for women – a 30 minute workout.
The reason for women’s only gyms has been said to be privacy issues. Harvard University has been shutting down their facilities to men recently for a few hours a week to accommodate women. Because of religious and cultural reasons, Muslim women cannot exercise comfortably in the presence of men and Harvard wishes to accommodate them.(Michigan Journal 3/08). “Coverage of women’s sports frequently focus more on women’s appearance than on their skills” (p.119). Many don’t want to think about their appearance in a gender specific gym and having a gym that is mixed would be difficult not to.
Personally, I don’t think we as a society have to always to be so politically correct. As long as people are comfortable with whichever gym variety they choose, they will get there more often. For those who would rather exercise with the opposite gender, there are always coed gyms.

Would a single father make as good a parent as a single mother? Are courts inclined to award custody to women? These issues were dealt with in the movie “Kramer vs. Kramer”. Billy’s mother Joanne (a college graduate and a stay at home mom) leaves Billy and his father Ted suddenly to pursue her own dreams. After about 2 years she comes back and wants custody of their son and all go to court. She wins but decides not to split the two apart. This movie reflects the mood of the 70’s with changing child custody laws due to the rise in divorce and working mothers. “Beginning in the 1970s a major swing in custody law sharply reversed what had been a well-entrenched preference for mothers. Most states adopted laws conferring an equal status on the custodial rights of mother and father with a favorable attitude toward joint custody” (http://www.grad.berkeley.edu/deans/mason/booksfathersintroduction.shtml).
In the 50s & 60s most women were content to be stay at home housewives but the 70s saw many changes one of which was a new respect for women who worked outside their homes. With this change courts also changed their attitude to a more individual approach on who would be awarded child custody but the numbers are still in favor of women. In 2004 14.0 million parents had custody of 21.6 million children under 21. Five of every six custodial parents were mothers (83.1%) and 1 in 6 were fathers (16.9%).custodial parents. 64.2% of those women received child support and 39.8% of men received child support(w.census.gov). "Fathers rights groups are angry and hurt that men don't have at least 50% custody of their children after divorce" (106).
While there are no numbers for the actual desire of men or women who wanted child custody – the actual statistics are unbalanced as are the child support percentages. It’s interesting to think what this culture would be like if the percentages of men and women custodial parents were closer to equal.

I had to watch a “Sex and the City” show for another class and I was surprised that instead of showing women in a light of power (which I thought the show was about) it showed these women still perplexed about dating the opposite gender (maybe not so unusual) but also letting it take up all their time. The whole show was about how to either think like a man sexually or how to get a man. And of course the language was explicit – which draws your interest away from changing the channel. I would say the realistic part was when these women got together for lunch and talked about their lives. “Many women share their personal feelings, experiences, fears and problems in order to know and be known by each other. In addition women talk about their lives and activities” (P.214). The audience was able to see the strong friendship ties that had developed between these women while they safely chatted about their lives and other things of interest to them. The group of friends showed the need to support one another in what might be a fun but yet difficult time in their lives. But honestly with a following as this show had couldn’t it have brought in some more positive attributes of a group of women friends supporting each other while living in a big city such as New York. I did not learn about any one of these women’s careers except the main character Carrie – who was a journalist and the narrator. I don’t remember hearing anything about long term goals. However I did learn about their taste in fashion and men. The way women are portrayed in the media is very important to the culture that’s watching and often reflects the history of its time period too. “The Media often represents girls and women as young, thin, beautiful, passive dependent and often incompetent” (p.259). I would say Sex and the City represented all of the above in just one episode. This show gives the impression that dating is the only interest in a single women’s world in our time period. Although I know this episode mimicked its title almost exactly, what’s wrong with showing women in a more positive light? Maybe my opinion only but I think Sex and the City might have set women back 100 years. No wonder America is not ready for a woman president with what the media is projecting.

My husband’s family had 6 kids. He always says that by the time it came to the last children (him and his brother) his parents just said yes to everything. They got away with a lot of things the first four did not while growing up. There are three sisters in the family and three brothers. All the boys went to college and all the girls did not. Mom and dad paid for all the education for the boys in private schools but not the girls. His mother often said that the girls could marry rich men while the boys had to take care of their wives and family and therefore needed to go to college. Two of the sisters say that’s just the way it was and accept it. One sister, Sandra is very angry about it and I don’t blame her. She says that her life would have been much better if she were encouraged to go to college. All her adult life she did secretarial work but felt she was capable of much more. Sandra had a special aptitude for science in high school. She was one of three girls in her honors biology class the rest were boys. Sandra’s mom often told Sandra she did not have to take honors biology because she could not ever become a biologist. Her mom reminded her often she was not going to college. Instead Billy, the oldest boy was pushed into biology honors classes he now says he hated. Sandra said she was proud that she could prove her capabilities right along side boys. She would get better grades than her brother had. However her mother stressed her out and eventually Sandra dropped the class: “the longstanding belief that females innately have less aptitude and ability in math and science has helped erect barriers to women’s participation in science and math education, not to mention careers in those fields” (p192). Sandra regretted leaving the class and never taking another honors science class again for a long time. In the time period she left the class Sandra said that she found it easier to make friends as she stopped being tomboyish (perceived as trying to be like boys) and became more of a “nice girl” (p199) which made her mother happy. But recently she has gone back to school and is majoring in marine biology. Sandra plans to take her life plans more seriously and eventually when she graduates research all the sea life she can find. Her brother Billy works in an office as an executive. Are there still more boys in honors math and science classes?

Gendered Studies

Gendered Studies

My neighbor often tells me of her worries about her son. He is a great boy. He is 16 years old. He does all his school work and gets great grades but there is a problem that the family perceives. John is not as masculine as his father would like him to be. He shows signs of being effeminate. His mom says he is gentle, has mostly girl friends, is empathetic and caring, and very loving, talks about fashion and things that are usually designated for the female gender. When he was younger he mostly played with girls and “girl games such as house and school” (p.127). He never played “boy games such as baseball or any sports games where the involvement was physical rough play organized by rules and specific roles” (p.126). I know him well and he is a great friend to my daughter. John does not admit to being gay. He says he wants to have a family one day with a wife and children. One day recently John was with his friend Karen not far from his house. They were listening to music and decided to skip down the block linked arm and arm in the rain. When John’s father whipped around the corner in his car on his way back from work he pulled up next to them and yelled “what the hell do you think you are doing” and sped off. Karen and he, I am told, were determined not be bothered by this and continued skipping although it was evident that John was very hurt. This window into someone else’s world made me wonder what I would do if John was my son. How would I feel if I thought my son was gay and he was not ready yet to deal with this issue? I know I would be like John’s mom and wait to see and try not to impose my thoughts either way. John’s mom said that she will wait until John is willing to deal with it. But when one parent is not willing to accept their son for who he is it makes life very difficult. John may not feel comfortable if he is gay to come out for fear that his father will not love him anymore. He needs a safe place to be able to let his thoughts and feelings out. John’s mom said she is thinking of taking John to a therapist to let him be able to talk there and deal with his father. Maybe he is not gay but John needs to be respected for who he is and to know that he will be loved for whoever he is, as any of his other siblings are. Somehow I know it would not be easy for my husband if this were our situation. Do men have a harder time dealing with these issues? What do you think?

May 15, 2008

Last week my sister Ann and her husband Marty went to see the movie “Iron Man”. They came into my house and were excited to tell me the details of the movie when my daughter Denise stopped by to see what was going on. Marty said “Denise you should go see the movie”. Ann said Denise would probably not like it because it was all about war. Marty went on to say that he thought Denise was a cool girl and would like the movie. Yes, she is a cool girl, my sister said, but girls don’t like to watch war. Denise chuckled about the whole conversation and went back to her telephone conversation. Marty and Ann continued to go on about the movie in detail. When they left I started thinking… what is a cool girl; why don’t war movies and girls go together? Do cool girls like things that boys like too? Traditionally toy guns and boys are usually associated together when growing up and girls and dolls – not dead dolls. Boys were encouraged to be aggressive and girls were encouraged to be nurturing. These days a lot of parents don’t allow their children to play with toy guns but not too long ago it was very acceptable. However, girls are still encouraged to be nurturing and boys are still encouraged to be aggressive. Why? Things have changed somewhat – you do see females in the military these days. You do see men being a little more nurturing taking care of their children. Both of these instances however, are not as common as the other way around. Gender is taught. We learn it subtly and sometimes not so subtly. Girls are treated differently than boys when growing up by the people in their lives, especially their mother and father. Parents don’t have to say a word but might buy products strongly associated with girls for their daughters and toys associated with boys for their sons. We get the gender message loud and clear. The expectation for girls can be very different than the ones for boys. Girls might be expected to do housework and cooking and boys the more physical labor. Where does this come from? Boys are said to have more muscle mass biologically so we may associate boys as being stronger (Gendered Lives p.39). Girls are said to be more nurturing but in the book “Gendered Lives” it is said that nurturing is actually learned when taking care of people who need to be taken care of like babies, children, the elderly, handicapped, etc. In the textbook it goes on to say that men actually develop a nurturing side when they take care of people too (p.40). We may be born with certain biological qualities but that does not destine us to be strictly one way or another. ”Biological theories tell us only about physiological and genetic qualities of men and women in general. They don’t necessarily describe the individual men and women” (p.45). A lot of our gender personality comes from our environment – what we learn our culture expects of us. And we are not all the same thank goodness. Our personalities are varied with some characteristics of male and some of female. Probably more of one gender than the other but not always. There are always exceptions and I think our society is slowly getting used to some of the changes. But is our society ready for a pregnant man? When I saw the pregnant man on “The Oprah Show” in the faculty cafeteria, I can’t say I openly accepted the idea, but I was curious and tried to be able to understand and at least respect people for who they are. People in the room with me were not as accepting. I wonder what my sister would think. I have to make a mental note to ask her next time I see her.